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***QUESTION***

David,

Your ebook completely changed the way I have always believed how a man should act when approaching women in order to get her attracted. I used to try so hard to treat women nicely but at the end I turned myself into a big wuss and ended up going nowhere. Sometimes, even now, I am still wondering why the C&F stuff attracts women because I feel like somehow it's just simply another way of being arrogant except that it's a little more subtle. I guess it's just like what you said, things don't always make sense. As long as it works and gets the result, who cares whether it makes sense or not?

The reason why I am writing you today is because I have two questions that I would like to ask and any advice would be appreciated. The SECOND QUESTION maybe sensitive to some of the readers out there and therefore you may just want to respond privately.

1) Through my experience, I have realized that once a woman has categorized me into the "no" group, it's impossible to get out of it. Basically I mean the first impression is EXTREMELY important. If I can't show her my C&F side in the beginning and once I am considered a provider but not a lover, there is NO WAY OUT. I have found that getting a second chance to redeem myself extremely difficult. Is there a way to change a woman's mind if this is the case?

2) I came from the Far East and I have been living in the U.S. for over 10 years. I noticed that women in this country would date their own men, Hispanics, Europeans and those from the Middle East. However, I rarely, I mean really rarely see an Asian guy dating an American woman over the last so many years. I thought a lot about it and think that this is because many of these people fall into the "Lover" groups you mentioned in one of your books - the Adventurers, Seducers, Artists and Bad Boys.

Meanwhile, my believe is that Asians are typically considered nice guys which means providers. Our culture has been traditionally emphasized on "keep the harmony, don't be arrogant, give compliments, don't rock the boat, etc." and therefore I feel that many us may find the C&F idea difficult to follow due to what we have been taught.

Let's just say that we get rid of this problem and finally learn how to be C&F, the problem is now how to convince a woman not to stereotype me as a provider before I even open my mouth and have a chance to prove myself. I fear that most of the women out there automatically put me into the "no" or provider category as soon as they see me.

Dave, TX


» MY COMMENTS:

OK, to answer your first question...

I get a TON of email from guys who are looking for the answer to the magic question "How do I get a woman who I've convinced not to like me to give me a second chance?"

The answer is: DON'T. JUST MOVE ON.

It's not worth the time, effort, and energy.

The best thing you can do is stop calling her, start dating other women, and if you can, make sure she finds out that you've moved on.

Get one with your life. And, ironically, that will give you the best chances of her feeling attracted to you again.

To answer your second point...

I have friends of all races, colors, sizes, ages, etc. and I've found that looks are SECONDARY.

All other things being equal, a six-foot three guy who is 21 years old, a multi-millionaire, drives a Ferrari, and is famous will have an easier time meeting women...

But I have one friend who is about 5'4" tall, ASIAN, and has an average income who is UNREAL when it comes to meeting women. He's always surrounded by a group of hot young women who love him.

Why? Because he GETS IT!

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